continuousgroaning

[Tina sits up to full attention when he says that, and she's a little surprised, before she thinks that it's probably a good idea- it was down to him, after all, to watch her and Ango.]

Yeah, I was going to see him as soon as I got back. Just... to make sure I've got some tools to help me get through school. [She laughs mirthlessly.] Because you've probably noticed I haven't been doing great, less so the longer Mom's gone. What did the two of you talk about?

You, of course. We think that you should start going to see him. Just for a check-in, make sure you're on top of things and that you're doing okay. I think you should do it.

[ He needs to be firm on that one. He can't be the fun uncle, or whatever the hell he's been. He's responsible for every part of these kids' lives, and he's not going to let his own inexperience get in the way of their well-being. He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. ]

We also talked about... well, we talked about what you've been talking about. About the possibility of you moving here when your Mom gets back. We wanna make sure that you've got everything you need.

I agree. I can't shut myself off from help.

[She then looks away at that second part, crossing her arms and sinking into her seat a little, as much as the cramped space of the ferris wheel car will allow.]

... I guess talking to someone about it who's more objective will help me make up my mind. I don't want to decide until Mom comes back, but even then, I'm not sure what the right choice is. My heart's saying one thing and my mind is saying another, and they both have good points.

It's not only that. I think you should talk to him about other stuff you're going through too. Not just the decision on your plate, but some of the... big emotions you've been having.

[ Magnus smiles at Tina, a crooked thing that expresses none of his own mixed emotions about the whole ordeal. This isn't for him, he reminds himself. This is for Tina. ]

I'll listen to you 'til the cows come home, but you should talk to him too. He might be able to help you work through it from - well, what you said. An objective position. And if you do wind up going, I wanted you to know that he's been in contact with Heropa High too. No matter what you decide, everything'll be taken care of for you. Okay?

[Tina smiles back, but it's only brief.]

I appreciate you doing that for me. It's still not going to be an easy choice, but... you're doing what you can to make it easier, and I'm grateful for that.

[Because it's either choose to go someplace that's not as seedy as Maurtia Falls, yet spit all over everything Magnus has done for her, or stay and risk getting hurt or worse by the anti-imPort elements. Rock and a hard place. Tina half wonders if this is what children of divorce feel like. She then reaches up to wring her hands.]

And you're right about that other part. It's been a rough... year, and the past few months have only gotten worse. I haven't felt like Tina lately, and who am I if not her?

Who Tina is is gonna change. That's okay. I ain't the same guy I was when I was thirteen. Thank God for that. I don't think you woulda liked me.

[ Magnus winks at her, trying to keep the tone of the whole affair right. That, and he's right. He'd been rough and tumble, too cocksure to listen to what anyone else had to say, and too defensive to listen to reason. He'd learned. ]

No matter how you're feeling, you're still Tina, and we still love you. That's what matters.

[Tina un-wrings her hands, reaching over to rest one on top of Magnus'.]

I already have changed here, now that you mention it. I'm growing. I got over my crush on Jimmy Jr., something that was a big part of my personality back home. I think that's one thing that's freaking me out... because it's more than I was changing back home. Things are happening so fast, and I've needed to adapt to them. It's part of growing up, though, isn't it?

[Something she had most certainly not been doing back home. Oh, she'd changed and grown in some ways, but in other ways, her life just kept going back to the same old, same old.]

I know you all will always love me, and my family will, too, even if I'm sometimes scared that they won't if the rest of them were to show up. And that's why it's so hard for me to just walk away.

[ Magnus nods. This is all ground that they've tread before, but he knows it helps Tina to wander through the same mental paths to work out what she's going through - in some ways, it's probably a good thing, keeping her grounded to what matters to her, what's important, and how to deal with it. He certainly doesn't mind listening to it. ]

What does your family have to do with it? [ He tries to keep his voice even, gentle. ] They'd go where you go, no matter where that is. You've told me enough stories about them for me to catch onto that much.

Uhm... I guess I've just been thinking about them a lot lately, with Mom being gone. And missing them more than I usually do, so I've been imagining them here and wondering what if. But I guess I shouldn't fixate on that too much, since they're NOT here.

[Tina knows she's rambling now, so she stops to recalibrate. She sighs, reaching up to adjust her glasses, brush an errant strand of hair out of her face. She truly doesn't know what to do in this situation. She then broaches another thing that's been weighing on her:]

I have other worries here, anyway. Whether or not to move away and... and what I'm going to do if people I'm close to keep disappearing. [She meets Magnus' eyes, hoping he gets the unspoken question: "What if it's you next?"]

Ah. Well... I can't blame you for that one.

[ He can't deny that it's been on his mind too. All he's done is hold onto the fact that his family's back home, right where they need to be - and anyone else he loves who disappears will be fine, in the end. None of them are from a place of great enough suffering or pain for him to have to mourn their loss in that way. It is a loss, though, and difficult to cope with considering how intensely he gets attached.

It's the way he's always been. The only reason he's been able to avoid that in the past years is the simple fact that he never stayed in one place long enough to get attached. He drums his fingers on his knee. ]

I'll tell it to you straight, kid: that's always gonna be a possibility, no matter where you are. Doesn't matter if it's here or somewhere else. Things change. But - all right, just listen.

[ He reaches out to clasp her hands in his. ]

Once you love someone, they never go away, and you're never really alone. Maybe you won't have them beside you anymore, and it'll suck. And it'll hurt. But you're still better for having met them and for having loved them - and for havin' their love right back. [ He lifts her hands and pushes them towards her chest. ] They're right here. Which means that no matter what life throws at you, you can take it.

Just 'cause Taako isn't here anymore doesn't mean he's not still on your side. Same goes for me, if I ever leave. And even without us, you got more people lookin' out for you than you know.

Uh-huh. And it's been happening so often lately, I'm just... worried.

[Because after Taako, Lucretia and Merle, it's logical that Magnus will be next, she thinks. Or Angus, and then the other one will be gone the next month. And if it does happen, there's nothing she can do about it. So maybe she SHOULD detach and move away, she thinks bitterly. That way it might hurt less if... when... he DOES disappear.

But that thought's fleeting. She could never do that. She feels intensely, too- since most of her beloved family was still home, on the other side of the Porter, she'd forged these bonds to fill in the void in her heart. And severing them would be impossible.

When Magnus takes her hands on his own, she holds on in return, her grip tighter than it might normally have been as she listens. When he's finished, she takes a big gulp of air, and he can probably see her eyes glistening a little.]

... It's true, though. I still think about him and the others who've left all the time. The things they taught me, their little habits, the time we spent together. I'm lucky to have had you all in my life, 'cause it was just random chance that we all ended up together, but it ended up working out better than I hoped, and I know I'm so much better for it. That doesn't disappear, no matter what. [She nudges his knee with her own.] ... I feel a lot better after that. So thank you.

Edited (I FORGOT MERLE AND IT WAS BUGGING ME) 2018-09-24 13:10 (UTC)

[ Magnus smiles at Tina. That's the best thing he could hear and, frankly, the best thing she can get out of his rambling. As long as she can look at things with that kind of perspective, he's done his job - and hopefully that means that she can look at it that way when he's gone, too.

Not that he intends to leave. Even if he was given the opportunity, he doesn't think he would. He needs to leave sometime - he has a job to finish, and a family he's left behind - but the thought of leaving Tina and Angus to their own devices whether they live with him or not, the idea of yet another person leaving Archie behind? That's not acceptable.

Slowly but surely, their Ferris Wheel ride comes to an end. ]

Anytime, Tin-o. You know I'll be here for you as long as I can. And... I'm not gonna lie to you and say I want you to leave. 'Course I don't. But you do what you gotta do, and we'll be right here, trying to make it as easy on you as possible. It'll all work out in the end.

[Tina hops out of the car first, in order to give Magnus more room to get out himself; once they're both on solid ground again, she leans against him briefly.

She feels a lot better about having to make this choice after hearing that he doesn't want her to leave, but the fact that he's still open to the possibility means that he thinks it's a good idea, and she trusts his thoughts.]

... I don't want to leave you and Ango and the dogs, either. [Because Alf and Uncle Jesse are part of the family, as far as Tina's concerned, and she knows how much Magnus adores them.] Our house is the only home I've had since I got here, and I know Maurtia Falls almost like I know my hometown. Even if it IS dangerous and kinda seedy, I have everything I need and want there. But it feels like things just keep getting worse and worse, and I can't have someone protecting me 24 hours a day. I need to weigh that into it, too, because if something were to happen to me... I don't want to think about what it'd do to Mom. Gene, Louise and I are the most important things in the world to her. And I know if we were to leave, she'd bloom where she's planted.

Edited 2018-09-30 19:33 (UTC)

[ Magnus wants to protest, say that he can protect her, that he'd escort her to and from school and to and from any of the other places she wants to go to if necessary, but he knows that's not what any kid would want. He'd been a lot younger than Tina when he started running off on his own, and he knows full well that he'd be furious if his independence was ever limited, even for his own good. ]

Well... I leave that part up to you, kiddo. Sounds like you've been thinking about it a lot, and you can make that choice better 'n I can. We'll adjust. We always do.

[ And he's been thinking about making some life changes if she moves, too. Things that he'll have to keep up. It means that he'll keep on fighting at the ring - he'll need the cash, not that he'd been planning on stopping in the first place - but it'll be worth it. ]

I just... you get that I'm not so sure I can pick up everything and move too, right?

Yeah... no matter what.

[Tina stands on tiptoe so that she can kiss him on the cheek. It's not a gesture of affection she shows all that much, but it shows how much he still means to her.]

... yeah, I understand. I mean, I wouldn't expect you to uproot everything, too. Especially 'cause you're better equipped to handle things there than I am. But the Porters still exist. And communicators. We'd still see each other.

[It won't be the same, she knows. But it'd have to do. Thinking of her safety is the mature thing to do, she thinks, no matter how much it hurts. No matter how much she doesn't want to.]

Oh, yeah. No way would I just let us fall outta touch or anything. I was actually thinking... well. How about I show you? It's not that far away from here.

[ It's not a terribly long walk away. It's pretty close to imPort housing, in fact, and fairly close to Heropa's high school. At first, it doesn't look like much -- all it is is a small apartment building, crammed full of apartments. He gestures up at it. ]

If you move here, you might not wanna come back to Maurtia Falls all that often. You're thinkin' about leaving for a reason. So... no reason I can't come to you every now and then. And after the others got ported out, it ain't like I don't have the cash to, uh, reserve a place. Could work okay.

Okay.

[She sounds intrigued, and so she follows along; her jaw then drops, and she turns to him, incredulous. Her heart is pounding, and she looks back at the apartment building, then back at him.]

You... you'd do that for me? I... I don't know what to say. Not in a bad way, just in a "holy crap that's so nice" kinda way.

If I can swing it, sure. It wouldn't just be for you. I still wanna hang around you too. So do the dogs - and so does Ango. None of us would be against taking weekends off here sometimes.

[ Magnus shrugs. ]

Weren't we just talking 'bout making the most of the time we got with each other? There's no point in having money if you don't use it on the stuff that mattes.

[It's a short while before Tina can speak; she puts her arms around Magnus instead, taking several deep, steadying breaths, because otherwise she's going to burst out crying.

Not that she hasn't done that before, and he hasn't done the same to her, but still.

She's filled with mixed emotions, because even the possibility of what he's suggesting has tipped her mental scales toward "move away" and she's still weighing the good and bad about that. But more than that, the fact that he's thinking of going that far so that he and Angus and the dogs can continue to be part of her life... it means more than she can put into words.]

I love you.

[That's all she can manage at first.]

And knowing I matter to you so much that you'd even consider... I can't say thank you for that enough.

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